Try to view it as a way to reconnect with your partner as opposed to another stressful activity (possibly “failed attempt”). It is important to aim to still make sex fun! It certainly is a delightful way of strengthening the intimacy and bond with your significant other. It also relaxes mind and body while helping to ease stress. Even the pleasurable conclusion of the experience plays a role in the reproductive aspect of it all. While the sexual response of a man is physically gratifying for him, its role in conception (ejaculation of sperm) is quite obvious. However, the reproductive value of female orgasm has been the subject of much debate in both biological and psychological studies for decades.

While female orgasm is not necessarily required for conception, it does greatly increase the chances of becoming pregnant. Proper arousal causes an increase in female secretions, and reaching climax increases them further; these fluids make it easier for sperm to reach their destination. Scientific studies now show that the muscle contractions which occur during orgasm create a type of suction, pulling fluids (and sperm) closer to the womb. The enjoyable bodily sensations along with the positive emotional effect on the relationship are incentives to keep doing the deed: imperative for those wishing to conceive.

Getting there is half the fun…

For women in particular, arousal prior to intercourse can be a determining factor in their level of enjoyment. The arousal stage increases blood circulation to the pelvic region (which increases sensitivity), increases secretions and makes intercourse physically comfortable and pleasurable. Embracing, caressing and kissing are comforting and intimate displays of affection which affect emotions and initiate feelings of arousal. Many couples like to employ more explicit foreplay techniques to heighten arousal further.

When it’s not fun…

Sadly, there is a significant number of women world wide who experience “sexual difficulties”; this means they have difficulty becoming aroused and/or cannot reach orgasm. This has a profound, negative psychological impact on a woman libido and often leads to relationship problems as well. Causes of dysfunction can be physical, psychological or both.

Possible causes of difficulties

• Pressure around trying to conceive or long standing infertility
• Psychological and physical traumas such as sexual assault/abuse
• Injury to genitalia
• Illness
• Hormone imbalances
• Stress
• Relationship problems (especially where distrust is evident)
• Substance abuse
• Prescription medications (consult with your doctor before making any changes)
• Menopause

Treatments for difficulties

• Emotional Freedom Technique
• Meditation
• Counseling/Therapy for psychological traumas
• Stress management
• Relationship counseling (if this is an issue)
• Discontinuation of recreational drugs/alcohol/tobacco
• Topical applications and/or lubricants designed to increase sensitivity and comfort

Herbal remedies

• Bach Flower Remedies, FES Quintessentials (For emotional healing)
• Maca
• Dong Quai
• Damiana
• Ginseng
• Wild Yam
• Sarsaparilla
• Ginkgo Biloba
• Gotu Kola

A word of caution…

Self-prescription is not recommended; consult with a competent and qualified naturopath or herbalist before starting on any form of herbal treatment. Many herbs can not be used during pregnancy or with other medicines. If you have a health condition, are on medication, are pregnant or trying to become pregnant it is imperative to consult a professional when considering herbal remedies. DO NOT use herbs, topical applications or change medication dosages without consulting your health care professional first. Too much of a remedy may harm you, too little will not give you the desired effect and you may miss out on the great benefits of natural treatment.