Constructive Feedback :: Fertility Challenge Etiquette
Constructive feedback is incredibly important, please take it for what it is. Myself and the moderator team, do offer unsolicited, constructive feedback as part of the education process.
Constructive feedback is not about whether you can implement it overnight. It’s not about whether you can afford every single change that is required.
It’s about gaining understanding and you discovering what needs to go on to your to-do list. It might feedback you can implement straight away or it might be for later, and that’s cool.
As moderators it is our job to make some of the tough calls. And while some of our feedback might sound a little rough, we are setting a standard here and it is called a challenge for a reason.
As an example if a person posts a photo of their whole lemon drink in a plastic cup it’s my job, my duty as the host of the 7 Day Fertility Challenge to let you know, “ Great job, you’ve done fantastic and you need to change the plastic cup the next time because that’s going to be negative, especially with lemon, which is acidic, leaching toxins into the drink and they are endocrine disruptors.” Participants need to know that plastic is going to be a problem long term, and it’s a simple fix so instead of using a plastic cup, use a normal glass cup.
Teflon pans, same thing. Teflon pans are scientifically proven to negatively impact fertility, to kill birds, and to increase the risk of miscarriage. You only need to go online and search to see the evidence for yourself. All the chemicals that are found in Teflon non-stick coatings have the same impact.
Problem remains, lots of people don’t know this otherwise they wouldn’t use it, they wouldn’t be struggling with infertility for such a long time doing something that is so technically, quite easy to address.
Our job is to educate challenge participants, to make sure you leave the challenge having discovered new information that you perhaps didn’t know before, or needed reminding of. Our aim is to help you to understand what it is that you can do even better.
Please know that the constructive feedback we offer is not about judging you. In fact, that’s the last thing that we’re here to do. Feedback is just that: it’s feedback. The meaning we choose to attribute, is our own to decide, thats whats going to become in our head so I highly ebcourage you all to see even challenging feedback as an opportunity to make positive change.
One of the best posts that I saw recently on the community page was of massive horse, tied with a lead to a tiny teeny, funny looking, plastic chair. This big strong horse is just standing there and it says simply, “Sometimes the only thing holding you back, is your head.” Isn’t that true?
The horse thinks that because he’s tied to the chair, it has to stay there because his experience in the past has been that whatever he’s tied to, he can’t move away from and so now he’s not even trying.
And so I really want to make sure that we don’t take things personally. We don’t make things what they’re not. We are all learning. I’m learning every day. Yes, it can be difficult to take feedback for feedback’s sake for what it is, and not making it into something else. It’s like, “I’m so stressed out by you giving this feedback. I can’t afford to make these changes.” Is that absolutely true though? or are you perhaps choosing to save for IVF as opposed to spending it on anything else?
Whatever you choose to do with your finances and how you allocate it, it’s completely your decision. What I’m saying is that it’s much more empowering to be honest with yourself to say “You know what, I am choosing to invest my money elsewhere.” As opposed to framing your reality from a perspective where you lack resources and are constricted/limited in your options instead of empowered and in control of the decisions you make. That’s just one example.
Financial affordability is all about priority, about what we make important in our lives. If you know and you’re choosing not to do it, that’s perfectly cool because you’ve made that choice. Because that’s what our natural fertility program is about, making informed, empowered decisions and taking back control of your own fertility.