Setting Behaviour Based Goals
My goal is to become a father to beautiful and healthy twins, boy and a girl.
A: Setting goals around having babies is a beautiful to do. I highly recommend the more that you can stay in contact – both in your mind and in your environment – with what it is that you want, the better because it’s going to keep reminding you and focusing you on the end goal.
However, I know that setting a hard goal for having a baby can be detrimental to your success, especially if you have been experiencing challenges in conceiving or keeping a healthy pregnancy to term.
When you set a goal around something, if it takes longer or if it changes in the way that you thought that it was going to happen, it’s easy sometimes to feel disheartened and to feel like a failure. It’s very easy to feel like “I should have done more” or “I could have done more.”
What I think would be better is actually setting a goal around something that you can control as opposed to setting a goal around something that is outside of your control, such as whether you have one or two children, or whether it’s a boy or girl or boy and/or a girl.
Here’s a quote from a golf professional that explains where I’m coming from:
“By following your behavioural goals, you get to your objectives. Instead of trying to break par, a result we cannot control, we concentrate on putting a good swing on the ball, an action we can control. What you can control is behaviour and activity. What you cannot control is the result of this behaviour and activity. Think behaviour, forget result.” Jim Kamp
You cannot control whether you’re going to have twins or whether you’re going to have a boy or girl but you can control getting to bed on time, eating well, exercising, being the healthiest version of yourself, being the happiest version of yourself, doing all of the things that are going to get you closer to your outcome.
I encourage all of you to look at what are the goals that you’re going to set and set it always around behaviour because by setting it around behaviour, you are then focused on the things that you can do something about, that you can control, and that will get you closer to your dream and your goal of having a baby.
Register for the next free #FertilityChallenge an online education and activity event, designed to guide and inspire couples who have been struggling to conceive and/or keep a healthy pregnancy to term and take home a healthy baby for over 2 years. This is a free, online event – so you can participate from wherever you are in the world. Join us here.