Today’s video shares the top five critical mistakes that couples make on their fertility journey, based on ~1000 responses to our recent survey question “What are the top 3 mistakes you’ve made on your fertility journey that you wish you had been told about and you could have avoided?”
There were some clear trends which I’ve condensed and categorised to share with you all. Basically, they are prioritised in order of occurrence on people’s fertility journey radar, with distinctions of course, based on my professional experience, over the last 20 years.
It’s important to acknowledge that for all the couples we work with, their journey to date is often heart-wrenching, exhausting, frustrating – you can name it – and while these five critical mistakes are common to many couples, everyone’s individuals emotional, physical and spiritual experience of the journey is different.
What people all share in terms of these five mistakes is that there are always multiple ‘minor factors’ that get overlooked. The following is a summary of topics detailed in the video. Click Here to Download Video Transcript: 5 Critical Mistakes Couples Make On Their Fertility Journey
Mistake #5: Stressing about Stress
Not surprisingly the distress of stressing about stress – it applies on many various levels, right down to the fact that we are aware that by stressing we decrease our chances of conception due to physiological response mechanisms – flight, fight or freeze – hardwired into our DNA for human survival.
There’s a clear need to understand and apply healthy tools and strategies, as opposed to say alcohol and/or cigarette which might help people de-stress but ultimately decrease your chances of conception. People want to understand how to deal better with stress, how to de-stress, and how to reactivate their fertility as a result actions they can take today.
Mistake #4: Fertility is a TEAM SPORT
The second category of mistake is both a perceived and real lack of understanding about the need and the difficulty of getting both partners on board. The fact that men are often, to a certain extent, excluded from the fertility journey and are not involved, engaged or even aware of the need to optimize their fertility.
On other fertility pathways to few questions are asked of men in terms of how are you feeling? what are your stress levels like? what are you doing to improve your health? are you exercising? are you eating well? Particularly early on in the journey couples rarely understand how mission critical it is for both partners to engage.
I find that men often disconnect because they’re told to do things, without understanding the reason, which is why our approach is to educate on the why and how and to support action and develop realistic expectations around outcomes. Engaging both partners, enhancing communication and improving the way partners work together on this journey is critical.
Critical Mistake #3: Lack of Knowledge
Critical Mistake 3 is the human paradox that is “you don’t know what you don’t know. There is lack of knowledge on so many different levels of this conversation, from simply not knowing what questions to ask, not knowing how best to proceed or who to turn to for direction and help. Not understanding (1) the role of multiple minor factors, nor (2) how to best address them.
I’ve seen this mistake cost people the chance of having their baby altogether in my practice, couples who basically left it way too late because they didn’t know they could make a difference. People who don’t really know how to take charge of their fertility, they don’t understand the different approaches. Or most unaware of all, people that think they have their based covered because they’re taking supplements, eating healthy, exercising, and stress-free, yet continue to struggle to conceive. They fail to understand that it’s just not enough.
Critical Mistake #2: Wasted Resources
Wasted time because sometimes people continuing to do the same thing over and over years without a result and continue to think that it will all turn out okay, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Don’t waste your time. Almost 50% of everyone surveyed talked about the time money and heartache invested to date, without results.
I’ve talked about one of our couples who had over 20 failed IVF cycles, to the tune of about $10,000 per cycle. Imagine after 20 cycles, that’s an incredible house deposit. After undertaking the Natural Fertility Breakthrough Program, they basically conceived naturally.
It’s about taking the right action, and doing whatever it takes that makes all the difference for the couples we help. The key is not to delay, don’t waste any more time, money or heartache. If you’ve struggled with infertility for two or more years, talk to us today.
Mistake #1: Regret
The number 1 mistake that the majority of people will relate to, is regret. The regret of not giving it their all, not taking charge of their situation and making the decisions rather but allowing decisions to be made for them. Many respondents regret rushing into IVF, only to discover IVF was not the only option, or that there were things that needed to be or could have been done to improve their IVF success.
Promise, I have nothing against IVF – it’s a godsend technology for some couples who would never have been able to conceive otherwise and we support many couples through the IVF journey. The issue I have is that IVF is overused.
I feel like couples are literally being herded down this path rather than being thoroughly diagnosed so that there is a clear understanding and greater context of the fertility issues actually getting in the way of conception and carrying a baby to term.
We work to ensure that every couple we work with can one day look back on their fertility journey with us and know that they’ve given it their all, that they’ve done their best. That if it didn’t happen, it wasn’t because they didn’t put in the work or the effort, so they can journey on without regret, knowing that they’ve done everything that they possibly could.
It’s important to realize when it comes to fertility, there is no kind of shortcut. You’ve got to give it your all. Wherever you choose to draw the line in terms of having a baby – for some people it’s IVF; for other people, donor egg, or donor sperm, or donor embryo, or surrogacy, while others will try any/all of these options – the key aspect is to know that you’ve left no stone unturned.
My life mission, as a fertility specialist, is to make real change. To revolutionise the way couples are cared for by thorough investigation. I truly believe there is so much power in taking charge, in doing what it takes, in finding your strength, and I want that difference in people’s lives to be my legacy,
Change can only come from doing what it takes. Some of you may want the opportunity to have my team on your side, holding your hand from beginning to baby. If that’s you and you know who you are, what you need to do Click Here to Complete the Fertility Discovery Questionnaire and once submitted one of my clinical assistants will call. If we can help, great! If not, at least we’ll give you some more understanding of what you can do and where you can move to and how to navigate your path on this journey.